Home
by Shadowwriter1636
Summary: Rossi is having a bad few days, Erin doesn't know what she wants. Can they work it out. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the words. This is what my warped mind comes up with. **

**This is what happens when I am home sick and it's snowing and freezing cold outside. **

**Reviews are appreciated. **

**Home**

He was happy as he could be when Hotch said they were going home. But coming home and being home wasn't happy anymore it was just a place, she wasn't there.

He felt alone and he'd had enough; he needed to get out of the building; away from everything that had to do with this job, with the FBI and everyone associated with it. This last case had been a bad one, and the team had just returned from it after 9 days. Sitting at his desk reliving it for the after reports was taking its toll. He was tired, they all were. Reports be damned, they could wait, he needed to get away...NOW. Leaving everything in his office, he walked through the bullpen, to the elevator.

He heard Reid ask, "Where you going?"

His only reply before the elevator door opened and closed was, "away from here." All eyes remained on the doors long after he had gone.

David Rossi was not one to run away from problems, and he wasn't running from this one, he just need to breathe, to feel, to prove to himself that he hadn't become jaded doing this job every day. He needed to know that there was good in the world. Lately nothing seemed to be happening good in his life. So he walked, he wasn't sure where he was walking to, he was on a Marine base. As he walked he passed Marines, he passed agents training, and people heading home. He didn't even notice that it had started to rain, not a downpour but a slow soft drizzle and the temperature was beginning to drop, but he didn't care, he wasn't ready to go back to headquarters and the BAU. He knew if he didn't get back sometime tonight his reports wouldn't get done and he'd have to work tomorrow to get them done, but he wasn't ready to go back, even as the rain picked up, besides what did he have to do this weekend…Nothing. He was beginning to feel the chill, so he picked up his pace.

As he walked he let his mind wander, it went to all sorts of places, mainly to his team, they'd become his family, but right now even with them he felt alone. He'd felt this way for 16 days, since the night she said she needed some space. He'd spent most of his free time in those 16 days trying to figure what was wrong, what he'd done. He'd done his best to be a good friend, partner, and lover. It came out of nowhere, one night she didn't come home, she'd called and said she was going to stay at her condo, he figured she needed a night to herself, but the next day, she told him, their relationship might be a mistake, all two years of it.

For more than a year he's been by her side, helped her when she need help, left her alone when she need that, loved her and he thought she loved him, she told him she did. She'd introduced him to her children, let him become a part of their lives and they'd become important to him. So as he walked he tried to figure what had changed. Even Katie, her oldest had called to see what had happened, why Erin was staying at the condo and seemed miserable. When he told the younger Strauss he had no idea and what had happened, she vowed to get to the bottom of it all. She knew her mother loved him.

He walked, passing building but not seeing them, past the ball field, past the track, stopping at the playground, he sat on a swing, looking out into the darkness. As he sat his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Looking at it, he answered, "Rossi".

It was Hotch, "Dave, you okay buddy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Where are you?" Aaron asked.

Dave looked around, he knew where he was, but didn't really want company and he knew if he told his best friend where he was exactly he'd have company, "Taking a walk."

Aaron, knew his closest comrade well, he knew something was wrong, had been for a couple weeks, but he tried to give him the space he needed. "Okay, Dave, but you know I'm here for you if you need to talk."

"I know, thanks Aaron."

Before hanging up, "Dave come in out of the rain soon, you'll catch cold." Both men chuckled.

Rossi stayed on the swing a little while longer, just thinking about his life, maybe her wanting some time to sort things out was God's payback for all his years of womanizing. Maybe he wasn't supposed to be happy, happy like he was with her, when she was in his life, in his arms, in his bed. He remembered hearing a quote once that said, _"You know that you are in love when the hardest thing to do is say good-bye."_ Right then he knew what he needed to do, he was in love, he loved her completely, so he needed to let her go, say good-bye.

Standing, he began to walk again, this time back the way he came. He didn't know if anyone would be there, but his head was clearer now, he would finish his reports, go home get some rest, and tomorrow tell her good bye.

When he entered the bullpen, everyone was gone, that was fine with him. He was wet, cold, wanted to get his reports done and go home. Entering his office, she was there sitting on the couch watching and waiting. David Rossi stopped almost afraid to move, the clear head he had fifteen minutes ago was now jumbled with thoughts he didn't want to have.

He decided to be the good agent everyone knew he wasn't. "Deputy Director Strauss, what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you." She stood, as she got closer she saw how wet he was. "You're soaked, where have you been."

"Walking," He answered, shivering a little.

"You need to get out of those wet clothes, David. You're going to catch a cold or worse." She picked up his go bag that was on the floor by the door. Opening it she pulled out a pair of jeans, sweatshirt, and socks. Closing the door and the blinds, she laid them on the chair, "here put these on, they may not be the cleanest but at least they're dry."

He stepped towards the clothes, not taking his eyes off her. He took off the shirt and shoes, then the jeans and socks. He realized his boxers were wet also, so he slipped out of them too, quickly pulling on the jeans, he'd gone commando before so that didn't bother him at all. He sat down pulled on the socks, then the shirt. "Okay, I won't catch cold, you're duty is done here." He sat down at his desk, picked up a pen, opening a folder. When she didn't move, he looked up. "Is there something else?"

"We need to talk, I need to talk." She answered she could see the hurt in his eyes; she had a way of seeing every emotion in those dark brown eyes, even when he tried to hide them. She was the one person who could see past his mask.

"What's there to talk about, Erin? You said you needed some space, I'm giving you that. You said our relationship might be a mistake, maybe to you it is…was a mistake. Not to me. Meeting you all those years ago was fate, becoming your friend was my choice, but falling in love with you, I had no control over. I love you, I can't help loving you, I planned on loving you for the rest of my life, but if you don't love me, if this relationship was, is a mistake then it's time I said good-bye. Go back to being just Agent Rossi. I can do that. I won't like it, but I can do it. We can even tell everyone, I broke it off. Everyone thinks I'm a selfish bastard anyway. I just want you to be happy. So there's your out, Erin." He almost whispered it, he was surprised he got it all out without tearing up, but he'd decided he wasn't going to let her see how upset he was, besides wasn't he supposed to be the heartbreaker of the pair.

"I didn't mean or want to hurt you. I just needed to think about all this, these feelings I have. David, I do love you, I love you so much that sometimes I forget who I am, I forget where we stop and I begin. Because of you, I'm happy and I'm not accustomed to being this happy for this length of time. There is always a shoe that drops and my world comes tumbling down." She sat down across from him. "I just keep waiting on that shoe to fall."

"What makes you think that something is going to destroy your happiness? I don't plan on hurting you; my happiness depends on you being happy. That's all I ever wanted, all I still want is for you to be happy, I thought you were happy with me, with this, with us." He countered trying to figure out just what she was thinking.

Erin stood and began to pace, "Look at my track record David! Failed marriage, alcoholism, people think I'm the ice queen, priorities out of order."

Dave threw his pen on the folder, ran his hands through his wet hair. "So what, I have three failed marriages, big deal. You are battling alcoholism, but you are beating it, I'm proud of you for that. People think you're the Ice Queen, not anymore, you have made amends and people are seeing the side of you that I see, that you've let this team see. As far as your priorities, I don't see where they are out of order. Your children are number one, as it should be." He wondered how he could make her see the Erin Strauss, he, her children and the rest of the alpha team saw.

She continued to pace, opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again.

David stood moved to stand in front of her, grabbed her hands to still her movements. "What is it Erin, what do you want?"

"I want some kind of assurance that this is going to last, that the shoe isn't going to drop, that my life isn't going to fall apart." She said, tears in her eyes threatening to spill down her face.

He let out a sigh, "Erin, I can't promise you that things aren't going to go wrong in life. That we, you and I aren't going to have problems, but if we communicate and work on them together we can overcome anything. Neither one of us is the same person we were 25 years ago, 10 years ago, hell Erin we aren't even the same as we were 2 years ago when all this began. I know I've changed, I hope for the better. Loving you, being with you, and being around your kids has made me a better man."

"You are an amazing man, David." She said.

"I don't know what else to say or do Erin, just tell me what you want, what do you want me to do?" He was getting frustrated, he felt like he was talking in circles and making no head way. Finally her hands still in his he moved to the couch, making her sit. "Erin, baby, look at me, just tell me what you want."

"I want you." She whispered.

Tilting her shin up with his finger so she was looking at him, "You have me, you've always had me."

"I want you, I want us, I want to hold you, and never let go. I want to sell the condo; I want to make our life together in your house, our house. I want to go to bed at night in your arms; I want to wake up in your arms. When you're on the road, I want the first thing and the last thing I hear to be your voice, telling me how much you love me and miss me. I want to travel with you when you do your book tours and lectures. I want to kiss you, touch you, love you whenever I choose. I want to walk down the street holding your hand or my arm around you. I want to grow old with you, make love with you every day. I want to let the world know that I love David Rossi and he loves me." The longer she spoke the more she reveled. "I want to go home…home to you and our life."

"I only have one more question." He said and she nodded at him. "Do you love me and trust me?"

"With every fiber of my being, I'm sorry I questioned you, us." She answered. "Will you forgive me?"

David stood, walked to his desk, picked up the folders on it, put them in his briefcase, he'd do them over the weekend. Put his wet clothes in the go bag and flipped off the light. He reached for her hand and she took it. "Nothing to forgive baby, I love you, let's go home."


End file.
